You carry a Coach bag? Or maybe Louis Vuitton?

Yeah, well, I've got something waaaaayyyyyyyyy more fashionable. Eat your heart out, y'all:

Here we have my pasty white bread kid modeling my new purse that I just bought today. It was literally handmade by Japanese prisoners. As in: Japanese people IN PRISON IN JAPAN. There is pretty close to a ZERO percent chance that you own a purse made by Japanese prisoners. And look how pasty white my kid is. He's so white he's almost translucent.

So there are a whole lot of things you don't want to be in this world. No, seriously. 


Like how you don't want to be the guy who goes into a city's backed up septic system and unclogs it with his hands. Or how you don't want to be the guy who works in, I don't know, a slaughter house or a meat packing plant. 


You also don't wanna be a prisoner in Japan. No, like for realz y'all. 


Now, since this is Japan and not America, the prisoners DO STUFF. They aren't forming gangs and beating the hell out of each other in all of their spare time like prisoners do in America. Instead, prisoners in Japan are busy MAKING STUFF. They WORK. As in: prison here comes complete with forced labor. Prisoners make stuff that people can buy. And I did.

I even bought a little clip-on cell phone carry pouch! You can see it on the right side of the trendy Japanese-prisoner-handmade bag. Because every Japanese-prisoner-made bag should come with a matching cell phone pouch. Don't you agree?

But you know what else? IT GETS BETTER.


(I know, I know - you're trying to figure out what in the world could possibly make this bag any better! But I'm about to tell you!)

When you flip open the front flap of the bag, NOT ONLY is there a FANTASTIC label that reads "PRISON" (just in case you wanted to be able to show your fashionable bag's label off to all of your friends), but also, the lining of the bag is replete with the words "Brand Impregnated Safety Matches" All. Over. The. Place!!!

So yes, I am beside myself with joy over my fantastic aquisition! 


And just because I haven't blogged in about a zillion years, I give you something else that you will only find in Japan:

Yes, my friends: this is a Pokemon airplane. And not just ANY Pokemon airplane: it's the Pokemon airplane that James flew in the last time he went on a business trip! Because Japan.

But wait! There's more!!

Because what would flying on a Pokemon airplane BE without also having Pokemon seat covers?

Tune in next time when I blog again sooner than a whole month from now! 


(And just in case you were wondering, the answer is NO. 


NO, the prisoners do NOT get to keep the money from the stuff they made that gets sold to the public. The money goes toward buying more materials so that more products can be made!)