(Just kidding.)
(Sort of.)
Okay, so, last week James did the unthinkable - he went back to the United FREAKING States on a trip without me.
WITHOUT ME, people.
So it was for work. So what? WHATEVER. So it was something he needed to do for his job and his position and the world and national security or WHATEVER. I don't care. He went to Cali-FREAKING-fornia (Los Angeles, to be more precise) WITHOUT ME and stayed there for a WEEK at a nice hotel with a rental car and with lots of DS/other State guy friends. Living it up, American style. They saw movies, they ate American food, they went to shopping malls, etc.
And I, of course, being A Good Wife and Mother, stayed here and took care of the children and home, etc. Stayed here. In China. While he was in Cali-FREAKING-fornia. Eating In & Out Burger and watching Ben Affleck in whatever that new movie is about the Iran hostage crisis. WHATEVER.
I'm sure you can JUST IMAGINE my reaction when he told me that he'd be going to the United FREAKING States for a work thing:
And I didn't kill him when he got back, just in case you were wondering. Though while he was gone there were plenty of home fires I had to put out all by myself (isn't that always the way it goes? The bottom falls out of the universe while the Dad is away on a business trip). Actually, not only was he not here, I pretty much never got to talk to him that whole entire week because of both the time/day difference and because he was always either at seminars or official visits somewhere or MOVIES or RESTAURANTS or MALLS.
He will be offended if I don't publicly state that he DID bring me back some Trader Joe's bags of dried cherries - which I adore - when he returned. Except that I now have to point out (for the sake of balance) that if I had gone with him, I would have been able to buy the damn cherries my own self. And also watched Argo. And eaten American food. And stayed in a hotel. And talked to other grownups.
Sometimes I hate being an EFM.
And as to the title of this blog post, he wouldn't BE that lucky. He's stuck being married to me FOR FOREVER, regardless of how ticked off I might be that he just got to go to LA and I didn't.
So there.